Gender Fuckery: More About Me.

I am very gender fluid and feel like I wake up every day sort of gender neutral.

-Ruby Rose

A journey to finding my true self.

I currently identify as a non-binary, gender fluid human. I say currently because I feel like everything is fluid for me right now. There is no binary in how I identify. There is no binary as to how I live my life. I’m forever on the outside and yet, I am grateful to have met those who make me feel like I’m included and accepted for who I am. I feel like I’m constantly changing and growing and that’s okay.

At the end of the day, feeling accepted and respected for who I am truly is ultimately what I seek and what is important to me.

In recovery, I have done a lot of intense work on who I am at my core. Some of that work included gender exploration. I was grateful to have been able to do it with an awesome and supportive human.

If you are currently on the journey of self discovery and focusing on your gender identity, finding a human who is supportive and understands what you’re going through is extremely important. Feeling safe to open up and dig deeper into your core being can feel scary and yet it’s so rewarding to have that trust with another human being and within yourself.

In my gender exploration I created a little longline (a brief synopsis commonly of a movie or book) for my life. My longline in particular focuses on recovery, gender exploration and self discovery. I feel that in reading this, you will know me in a deeper way.

A curious, adventurous, resilient, determined, compassionate and adaptive person is tired of trying to hide their true self. They can no longer stand towards maladaptive behaviors (eating disorder, self-harm etc.) as a way of running from their true self. Wanting recovery but fearful of change, they are continually overwhelmed and anxious with the process. By working on healing their relationship with food & exercise; while exploring their gender identity and healing past trauma, they will be able to become their true authentic self. Staying in fear and not taking the necessary steps towards recovery could turn deadly, and they’ll have a lifetime filled with regret over what could have been.

After writing this I felt more at peace and understood that the choices I make can and will have an effect on the trajectory of my life.

As long as I stay true to myself and continue on this path of growth and recovery, I will be alright.

I’m excited to see what adventures this life of mine will take me on in the time to come.