I don’t want to change who I am.

Vowing to become the main character in my life.

Have you ever thought about the fact that we all live on a spinning planet?

If you’re anything like me, I grew up learning that it’s important to act or look a certain way in order to be liked.

Growing up, I now recognize that to be complete bullshit (pardon my language) .

I am learning that I am pretty incredible and I don’t have to act a certain way or people please for anyone to like me. What’s important is whether or not I like me.

I am learning that the parts of myself I kept hidden are the parts that make me more authentic and real.

One of my favorite quotes is from the Velveteen Rabbit.

Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.

I truly resonate with this quote and feel that the people who truly love me, will love me first for what’s on the inside and will respect me and my identity, entirely with zero judgement. They will love me when I’m at my worst and I’ll do the same for them.

So, I vow to continue to be as authentic as I can (without putting myself in harms way) because it is only then that I will know who my true people are. The people that I can trust and let in to know the deeper parts of my soul, are the people I want to surround myself with.

If you (the reader or anyone else in this world) don’t like me, I know its not a reflection of who I am as a person. It could be because I am showing you a part of yourself that you might not be in the place to recognize yet, and that’s okay.

I choose to live my life on the adventurous edge regardless of whether or not people think its the “right or wrong” thing to do.

I will continue to lead my life to fullest because I want to have as much memories and experiences that I can. I don’t want capitalism to prevent me from living my best life and following my dreams.

In order for me to feel at home with myself, I need to know that I have full permission to be myself and that I am in a safe environment to thrive. Being surrounded by people who encourage me to engage in activities that align with my values, truly makes me feel so accepted and helps me to continue on this creative and adventurous journey.

I am going to continue to do what I need to in order to lead a healthy, recovered life.

With all of that being said, welcome to my story, staring me, Teddy, as the main character.

I’m as close to myself as I’ve ever been and for the first time in 25 years, I don’t want to change me.

My only hope is that I continue to grow and connect with myself while on the journey of healing and recovery.

XOXO

Teddy Hikes